


"I'm sorry. Hawke was left in the fade."

by SaveTheFish



Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Hawke Left in the Fade (Dragon Age), Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mage Hawke (Dragon Age), Memories, Regret, Reminiscing, Sad Fenris, short but not sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27012187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaveTheFish/pseuds/SaveTheFish
Summary: Fenris receives a letter from Varric. Like always, It's about Hawke.
Relationships: Fenris/Male Hawke
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	"I'm sorry. Hawke was left in the fade."

**Author's Note:**

> Look, TECHNICALLY this could be seen as Major Character Death but I refuse to believe Hawke dies in the fade and you can pry that belief from my cold, dead hands. 
> 
> Anyways, let's watch Fenris lose the only one he's ever loved, shall we?

It was like drowning. Like his lungs had suddenly stopped working, his heart had suddenly stopped beating. “I’m sorry. Hawke was left in the fade.” He stared down at the words, not understanding, not processing. “I’m sorry. Hawke was left in the fade.” No. Hawke wasn’t— He had just been— He promised— “I’m sorry.” His legs gave out, the only sound being the blood rushing in his ears. “Hawke was left.” He opened his mouth, trying to breathe, instead releasing a broken sob. “In the fade.”

Golden, honeyed eyes glinting in the sunlight, his whole face lit up in a grin, the red smear across his nose just starting to dry. “I promise.” He took Fenris’ hand, pressed his lips to his fingers and looked up, serious and grim for just one second. “I promise.” The sun shone down on them, the champion started to turn away, stretched his arms out above him. 

Fenris’ hand twitched, wanting to reach out. He wanted to grab him. 'Don’t go.' He wanted to wrap his arms around him and hold him tight. 'Stay with me.' He wanted to grab his broadsword and walk up to him and be there beside him. 'Let me come with you.' But he didn’t. He stood there, and he watched him leave, and he managed to wave when Hawke turned back a few paces away. 

“I LOVE YOU!” The mage shouted, loud enough that it startled a few birds resting in a tree, sending them scattering into the sky.

Those words. Those three words. “I love you, too.” Fenris had mumbled. He couldn’t shout it like Hawke did. He couldn’t be that bold, that brazen. He should have been. He should have ran after him and tackled him to the ground and said Please don’t go. Please don’t leave me alone. But he didn’t. Because he couldn’t. Because Hawke was stubborn and selfless and kind and warm and wouldn’t stay put if someone needed him, no matter how much you begged him not to go. And Fenris didn't beg. He stood still and watched as the only person he'd ever truly loved vanished into the tree line, hoping and praying it wouldn't be the last time he saw him. But when had hopes and prayers ever done anything for him?

He held the letter to his chest and tried to breathe and tried to think and couldn’t. He couldn’t. Without Hawke he was nothing. Without Hawke he would never have gotten free. Without Hawke he would still be running and fearing and barely a person. Without Hawke— Without Hawke… he was alone. No matter how many people he surrounded himself with. No matter what he did or where he went. He was alone.

He held the letter to his chest. And he let himself fall apart.


End file.
